Happy birthday, dear Morgan!

Today is your birthday. I wish I could congratulate you face to face. We would’ve celebrated your special day together tonight. I’m sure if you were still around, we would have a nice dinner together, this evening. I wonder where we would celebrate it…

Today is your birthday. It’s been a week since I haven’t heard your voice nor got your sms. And I miss you. So much.

Today is your birthday. But you’re not around. I can’t see your smile anymore. It hurts me, babe… My heart breaks into pieces. I wanted to ask “Why? Why aren’t you here?” But I guess I have to try to accept the reality and deal with it. I know you wouldn’t like it if I asked the same question again and again. I know that you don’t like seeing me sad… and mourning all the time… But it’s hard, babe. I’ve tried. It’s just so damn hard.

Today is your birthday and your body arrives in your home country. What a coincidence! Did you plan to go home on your birthday?

March 14th is a special day for me. And when I met you, it becomes even more special. My Dad passed away on March 14th, 14 years ago. I was very surprised that your birthday was March 14th, too. So, this morning I went to the beach with Mom, to throw flowers for my Dad… and… for you.

Hopefully you’ve met my Dad by now. I’ve asked him to take you around, to see how beautiful that place is. Dad must be happy to do that for you. He would take you to see the nicest garden and beach you’ve ever seen. Maybe you could even go diving together (Dad loved scuba diving, so I’m sure you guys will get along with each other very well).

Oh why is it so sad? The feeling that I have now is even sadder than the feeling that I had when I broken-hearted. It doesn’t feel good at all, babe…

I really wish you were here… I really wish that I could see you tonight at your place and we go somewhere to celebrate your special day together. Ah well… I’m still learning to get used to live without your presence. Give me some time, will you? Am sure you understand.

Happy birthday, babe. I wonder what are you doing now?
I wish you have a wonderful day and a big celebration up there… in heaven…
I could only send my prayer as your birthday present…

With love, Nila.


  • Light up a candle for him tonight, darling. Whisper a happy birthday song … and when you started to feel like you’re so alone, remember the ‘butterflies’. XOXOXOXO

  • Dear Nila,

    I am very sorry for your loss. Morgan’s in a good place now and you have to take care of yourself too.

    The Chinese believe too that butterflies that come our way during certain points in our life, hold the souls of our loved ones who want to see us.

    It’s also very ganjil – that I am the same age as Morgan, just a few days older – and we share some mutual friends in Jkt too.

    Take care,
    elizabeth wong

  • So many Australians including myself are sending you their prayers, Nia during this terrible time. Morgan sounded like an exceptional man and how wonderful to have spent the time you have with him. But also, you sound very special yourself, so Morgan was blessed to have you in his life also.
    Take care,
    KB, Perth Australia

  • Dear Ms. Tanzil,

    At the outset, i have to admit of not having had the privilege of acquanting with you – only had read your writings from that beautiful land of Indonesia.

    In this your hour distress, my personal prayers are with you. May your writings continue illuminate more.

    Be well and thank you,

  • Dear Nila,

    I just know that Morgan was your special, because i’m also sad about his lost. I met him here in Balikpapan because Morgan asking me about Australian company which has business here.

    My last chat with him was end of january on Ozmine event. When i heard about the accident, at the night my bos sms me that Morgan was on the list.

    I said to my wife, Lidya, that i lost my friend and very shocking to hear that.

    today, i just call Lidya that Morgan had close relation with my son,Valent, pretty aunty which is you.

    from papanya Valent dari Balikpapan

    priya husada

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