On Love

I just arrived back from having my favorite Sangria drinks at the Screening Room in Club Street, then enjoyed Swiss fondue at La Fondue in Dempsey Hill, Singapore. It’s a lovely night, catching up with nice people 🙂 and had good conversation until my taxi arrived.

A lot of taxi drivers in Singapore are very talkative. Some of them are nice, but a lot of them are annoying. They just can’t stop talking… and please bear in mind, they don’t speak English. They speak Singlish (Singaporean-English, it’s a specific accent that Singaporeans have whenever they speak English). Even after almost a year and a half living in Singapore, I still have some difficulties to understand these taxi drivers. They speak so fast, my goodness. And they speak in such accent, in which, for foreigners, you really have to listen carefully or ask them twice or three times until you understand what they’re saying.

I enjoy talking to most people, be it taxi drivers, restaurant waiters, security guards, whoever. And tonight, I had an interesting conversation with my taxi driver. He’s Portuguese. He used to serve the army and left in 1971 (I wasn’t even born yet!). When he drove me out of the Dempsey area, he told me that he knows the area by heart. Dempsey was used to be his base when he was still in the army and now it’s magically transformed into one of the hangout places to chill out in Singapore. There are a lot of restaurants with nice ambiance. I personally love this area for brunch and dinner. Nice place.

The taxi driver said that he also works as a windsurfing coach during the day. Wow! That’s so cool! He then gave me some tips on how to learn windsurfing: “Just lean back, use your weigh to pull up the sail”. Aha! Good tip, uncle!! (note: in Singapore, people use “Uncle” and “Auntie” to address older people).

He then asked me, “What do you do in Singapore?”
I said, “I used to work here, Uncle… but now I’m taking a break to travel”.
“Nice”, he said.

He then asked me what my plans are, so I told him a bit of my plans :).
Then he started to talk about his family…

He said, “You’re a nice girl. You have to take care of yourself, don’t let people use you”.
I replied, “What do you mean, Uncle?”
“Yes, don’t let people use you. I’ve been used by other people, even until now”.

He then explained that his wife is “using” him. They’ve been married for 11 years, but for all these years he has to sleep in a different room! What???!!! That’s weird.
The wife didn’t let him to sleep in her room together. Only if she needed to have sex, in which, it happens only once a month or twice a month at the most. Even when it happens, she always says, “Do it quick… quick.. quick!”
“And she never treats me nicely. She treats me like a maid”.

I asked, “Why did you marry her, then?”

He said, “I married her out of a pity. Her husband left him and she was alone with her son and was so wrecked. We were still friends by then. I took care of her for five years, but nothing happened between us. Then, I decided to marry her. She wanted to have a kid, so I took her for a honeymoon, she got pregnant and we have a kid now. I was hoping by having a kid, her attitude towards me would change. But that never happens. Sometimes I feel like I don’t want to go home”.

“If I knocked on her door, she would yell at me and said: What? You want sex, ha? You want sex, you go to Geylang lah! Stop bothering me!!” (Geylang is a red light district in Singapore, whereas people can have “fun” with prostitutes) .

Omigod. I was shocked. Poor guy.

He said, “We’ve been married for 11 years, but I’ve never hugged her for more than 5 minutes. She always rejects me”. He went on, “She’s using me to raise her own son. She never loves me. She just wants my money, but treats me like shit”.

“I wish I found someone who love me”, he mumbled.

In the end, he said, “So… if there’s someone who love you, don’t waste it. Don’t waste the love. Don’t wait. Just go for it, otherwise you might lose it”.

…

Hmm.. tonight’s conversation with the taxi driver makes me think that when it comes to love, we shouldn’t take it for granted. It’s such a special feeling and when it happens, let’s embrace it. Sometimes we think that our career is more important, but then… it means nothing if we don’t have someone to love and who love us.

Maybe now it’s time for the warrior of the light to fight for love.