2 days after my birthday, I was sitting on the balcony of my friend’s house in Amsterdam and thinking about Jesus’ statement: “Love your enemy like you love yourself”. Why did these words suddenly appear in my head?
On that day, I planned to go back to Eindhoven, where I live now. Unfortunately, there was an old woman that I really really dislike staying in the house for couple of days. I didn’t know that she would be there until Sunday. Thought she already went back to Den Haag. đ Hmm… I was struggling with myself, should I go home or not? I didn’t want to meet her and saw her on my party nor in the house! I didn’t want to see her face as for me, she’s like a witch. An evil that trapped in a human body. =P She has all the evil characters that a human being can hold. Seriously. I’m not joking. She also did her evil things to me. Gosh, you won’t believe what she has done to me and my family. If I tell you everything, I’m sure you’ll be shocked! :/
So, that’s why, I was thinking about these words “Love your enemy like you love yourself”. I was silent for couple of minutes. It’s very hard to do it, isn’t it? How could I love someone that has been treating me very very badly? In this case, this old woman. How could I love her after what she has done to me and my family? How could I love someone that I really2x dislike.. or hate, even? Before, I had almost forgive her for what she has done to me as I thought she was just an old woman, I should feel sorry for her and tried to understand why she’s doing it. However, after the last incident, I have decided not to have any sympathy feeling towards her again. The conclusion is.. she’s an evil. Full stop.
Again… there was another words whispering, “You should forgive 77×7”. Oh my goodness… these words made me speechless. I’m sorry but I couldn’t forgive her now… perhaps later… as time goes by..
After sometime, I found the answer. You know what? I think it is possible to love your enemy. Although it’s difficult, still.. you can try. If you hate someone because she/he does something bad to you, you can try to think why she/he is doing it. Perhaps the person has a good reason to do it (hmm.. although sometimes it’s difficult to justify a “good reason” behind a very bad action). You can also try to analyse why the person has some “evil” behaviors or characters. Perhaps it is because of the family background. Perhaps the person feels lonely or lack of love. Perhaps her/his life is miserable…
For example, why someone is greedy about money? Perhaps his or her parents were so poor, thus he/she had a hard life when he/she was a child. That’s why the person obsesses about money and might do corruption (it’s possible, huh?!) Yes, because of the background, the person has a kind of traumatic feeling, feels insecure, and has a strong picture in mind of being poor and living without money. To compensate that, she/he has an obsession and will do anything to get as much money as she/he can.
It works like that. Every single thing happens for a reason. That’s why, if I think deep why this old woman always does something bad to other people, perhaps because of her life experiences. If I think that way, then I feel sorry for her. I feel sorry because she always has troubles with other people. Her life isn’t peaceful. However, she creates it like that. I think, she finds it hard to love other people as she always gives hard time to others. Hmmm.. perhaps, she also hates herself? Could be! Poor her. Can you imagine how difficult it is to live in a world where there are so many people hate you because of your own actions? It must be hard, huh?
This thought finally created a symphathy feeling towards her. However, another thing crossed my mind. In life, people have choices to do good things and bad things. Also this old woman. She has choices whether to do good things, be nice to other people or try to mess with others and act like a bitch (sorry…). She has all the choices, however she chooses the latter option. Why??? Why does she follow the evil’s voices, not the angel’s? Angel always whispers to do good things… why doesn’t she listen to the angel? I’m sure before she does something bad, she hears the evil and angel are fighting against each other, try to convince her in the middle of the decision making process. Like Snowy in Tintin comic. =D
Again, if we want to forgive someone, we should try to understand why that person follows the evil’s voices not the angel’s. If we know the person quite well, perhaps we would get the answer of their “evil” behaviors. Family background, lack of love, loneliness, etc.. you name it, there are so many reasons that can make people act so bad and above human standards. If you could understand this, then you would feel sorry towards that person. You would have a symphathy,… then it is possible that you would forgive them for what they have done. As a result, you will love the person. =) Of course this process takes time and deep thinking. No to mention that it is important to release the hate and anger feelings first, then try to position yourself in her/his place.
So, after these thoughts, I decided to go back to Eindhoven. I would go home, prepare everything for the party, and of course I would see her in the house. I would try to be nice to her and gave my sweetest smile as she’s just an old lonely lady with lack of love and unclear understanding of how to love other people… =)
On that day, I got a lesson : “It is possible to love your enemy, if u try to..” Also perhaps it is possible to forgive 77×7 đ
peace,
*NiLa*
