What is a toy boy? Toy boy/boy toy/boy material/whatever you name it is a non-commitment partner whom I share interests and certain activities together [but not all activities, otherwise, I will put him in a “Potential Boyfriend” box!]
Obviously, a toy boy meets some criteria of a boyfriend to be, but not all. Most of the time, we are just physically attracted. So, it doesn’t influence a deep feeling at all. Far from the “L” word [read: Love].
Based on experiences, my relationship with a toy boy was purely for fun. A toy boy can be so amusing, amazingly gorgeous and good-looking, yet we speak different language, meaning: we don’t share any interests at all or have to think hard on a topic for discussion every time we meet. But, a toy boy can also very fun to be with, share a lot of interests, yet not good enough to be put in a “Potential Boyfriend” box coz either he doesn’t have the same vision of life or he’s not taking life seriously. Not matured enough. It’s pretty tiring to assist, telling what to do, provide solutions to any problem to someone who simply hasn’t matured enough. I’ve been there before and am not going there again. I don’t want to act like a mommy, sorry to say, but that’s not my favorite thing. Instead, I want a guy whom I can rely on when I have problems.. It will be ideal if it works both ways.
Normally, a relationship with a toy boy is very flirtatious. We love to flirt. It’s fun. If I can explain, it’s like a time when a guy tries to approach a girl, tries to do anything that will impress her, vice versa. But, with a toy boy, these things happen continuously. Never stop. Which is fun. Right? 😉
With a toy boy, everything goes very fast. Instant. Why is it like that? It’s because, normally, we both know that the “relationship” doesn’t go anywhere. No future. Realizing it, it makes life easier. That’s why we both can enjoy the companionship to the fullest.
How do I act when meeting a toy boy?
• Flirt [and vice versa!]• Say yes to any date invitation, but don’t really take it seriously and also, it depends on my mood
• Have a good time together
• Can do stupid things in front of him.. don’t really have to BEHAVE. Hahaha..
• When I’m alone, I don’t think of him. I never bother to think what he’s doing when we don’t see each other [on the contrary, I think a lot about a Potential Boyfriend]• Will tell him if I there was any guy inside my Potential Boyfriend box.
How do I feel when meeting a toy boy?
• Happy, coz we both enjoy the time that we spend together
• Feel happy when he’s around, but I also feel OK when he’s not around
• Feel OK to contact him first, don’t feel nervous when doing it
• Less sense of urgency, in terms of, e.g.: don’t feel urge to reply to his sms right away [he can wait.. hehehe] 😉
• Don’t feel jealous
• Don’t feel sad if there’s no calls or messages from him [takes everything more easily]• Will feel bored after sometime.. especially if we meet too often
• Always need a break, especially when the relationship is getting too intense
A lot of my friends [guys] share their love stories and ask for my opinion. Some of them are confused of their Potential Girlfriends’ behavior. The girls seem to like them and show the passions, but when the guys talk about taking a step further [read: going steady, committed relationship], the girls don’t seem interested at all. They refuse ‘the offer’ implicitly. However, they remain sweet and never say NO to any date invitation. Pretty confusing, huh?
Let me tell you something. Girls love to keep their toy boys in the box. So do I. It feels good to have admirers 😉 and we don’t want to loose them. That’s why we maintain the sweet relationships with the toy boys. So, if you see any sign that you were treated as a toy boy, it’s up to you whether you still want to continue chasing her and fight till the end [the ultimate goal: be her BOYFRIEND], or to give up and leave her alone. It’s all up to you. Anyway, she won’t miss you that much [ouch! reality bites]. Other choice is accepting the fact that your status is just a toy boy. Look at the bright side: you can also do the same thing. In this case, both parties are happy. Problem’s solved ☺. Full stop.
One can have many toy boys inside the “Toy Boy” box while having a Potential Boyfriend at the same time, as long as the latter hasn’t transformed into a so called boyfriend. So, there are no limitations here and no one can complaint as there are no strings attached.
What I like from having a “Toy Boy” box is that this box can brighten up my day in the middle of the hustle and bustle of my heavy workload, without occupying too much space in my mind. The box is also not powerful enough to influence my emotional feelings. So, when one of the guys from the box is acting like a jerk, annoying or disturbing, it won’t bother me at all [maybe only a bit]. I can always turn around and walk away… But, actually, this thing seldom happens as our days together are normally filled with bright colors, laughter and the three letters: F.U.N. Everything is so light and easy. Which sometimes, that’s what we need. ☺
(next post: what’s inside the “Just Friends” box?) .. to be continue..