This time I wanna share something about conveying the right signals to other people. Do you guys notice that sometimes we convey wrong signals to other people and at the end those people get totally wrong ideas on what we want or how we feel?
I do that sometimes as well. For example, I was bored as hell in the middle of a conversation with someone but I still put a smile on my face. I acted as if I was interested to what he said, in which wasn’t true. I wasn’t even listening! It’s called pseudo-listening. And it’s not a good thing because the other person will think that we understand the topic and interested in it. It will make him talk even more about the boring topic. Oh no!!! Of course it will be the last thing on earth that we wish for at that very moment, aight? :p
I still remember one day I had drinks with my new friend. It was 5.30pm and we had nice conversations until we were hungry and wanted to grab something to eat. Then we went to a nice restaurant and had dinner there. Again, we discussed about everything, from books to philosophical stuffs. Quite a serious conversation actually, but it was nice. When I looked at my watch, it was midnight already! Wow, time flies and I had an appointment with my friends to go clubbing. Hehehe.. He wanted to join us as he claimed that he also loved to party.
But then, you know what… it turned out to be a disaster, because even in the club, he was still insisting to discuss about books and those serious stuffs! Topics that I didn’t want to discuss in a CLUB! Can you imagine, at 3am in the morning he was still trying to impress me with his intelligence, while what I wanted to do at that time was dancing with my friends?? Especially when the DJ was playing my favorite tracks! Oh my goodness… it was terrible! And I couldn’t say anything because I didn’t want to hurt him. So, I could only stand there, trying to listen to him and nodding once in a while, acting as if he was discussing something that could draw my interests.
I wouldn’t suggest you to do the same as it would only torture you. Well, sometimes I left him alone with my friend, while I went to see my other friends who were standing at the other side of the club. I did that couple of times, but he just couldn’t read between the lines. Yup. Sometimes people aren’t sensitive and cannot read between the lines. In that case, we should tell them bluntly on how we feel and don’t give wrong body language. Pseudo-listening isn’t recommended.
Last night my friend told me that he lost interest on his girlfriend. Yet, the funny thing is that his girlfriend had no idea whatsoever on what he felt. She was still feeling head over heals toward their relationship. *Some people just cannot read between the lines*
But, perhaps, could it also be because of he didn’t convey the right signal to his girlfriend? It’s possible.
He didn’t want to hurt her. That was the reason. That’s why he gave “wrong” signals to his girlfriend, acted as if he was still into her. No wonder his girlfriend got a totally wrong idea on how he felt toward her. Ooopsssieee..
Terrible. Indeed. I felt sorry for his girlfriend, and him.
So, I told him that he should be honest to his girlfriend. Of course it might hurt her, but it would happen eventually, sooner or later. The sooner the better. “And stop conveying the wrong signal to your girlfriend”, I said. Because it would hurt her even more when she found out that everything was fake.
From our conversation last night, I realized how important it is to deliver the right signal to other people. It’s better to say what we want and express what we think clearly. It’s ok to be straight-forward. As direct as as the Dutch. Hehehe.. I prefer that way. Especially knowing that some people just are not sensitive and have difficulties in reading between the lines.
We don’t want my friend’s experience happens in our life, do we? 😉
So, I try to keep this sentence in mind: “If I don’t convey the right signals, the right body language, the right message to other people, then I’ll be in trouble”. Ouch! Dangerous!